Preface
Many people have asked me what could that caused me to transition from being a Christian preacher, one who would do anything to defend ‘the word‘, to becoming an unbeliever. I have always promised to share my journey to the other side of truth but have never really done so, except personally to a select few.
Trampling Sacred Ground
Why? Maybe it is an unconscious act of self preservation. Or perhaps it is
I am not unaware of the dangers of daring to tread on sacred ground. I have experienced firsthand the merciless punishment inflicted upon those who dare to defile the ‘holy thing’. Very early on, in what I would refer to as my awakening, I was so eager to share with others. Believing, foolishly, that if they too saw the insurmountable evidence they would ‘awaken’. It was with horror that I witnessed, time and again, those very people respond to the facts like it was….
To them I morphed into the devil incarnate seeking to have them evicted from their place in paradise like I did their ancestors, Adam and Eve. Initially there would be, in many cases, acknowledgement accompanied by total shock. Only to meet them on another occasion and realize they suddenly were the early victims of dementia. They somehow could not remember who I was, or so it appeared, since they refused to acknowledge my presence.
There was this one particular friend with whom I would exchanged much information. He was/is an avid reader with, at the time, an opened mind. However, once it sunk in what the dire consequences of his non belief might be he once more became a believer.
In the next few pages I will share with you a part of that journey. You will witness the length of time it took for me to get from the initial troubling encounter, to eventually building the courage to begin my investigation in earnest. An adventure that could have so easily resulted in me being a patient of some mental institute. One that, if you are not careful, could have you diagnosed as being mentally unstable. But, even more, one that if you follow through could destroy your relationships as you know them. Your relationships with your family; friends; job; marriage; etc,; all could be on the line.
The Journey Begins When I Lest Expected It
It was a weekday and I had awakened early in the morning to get the children off to school. This was no ordinary day for me, as I awoke with a headache which was quite unusual for me. As I prepared to send them off, I heard an inner voice telling to go to the beach. That was not something I was looking forward to, not this morning definitely. The only thing I wanted to do at this time was get back into bed, until it was my time to go about my daily routine.
The voice was insistent and I was even more so. Not this time, I was not going. This is a battle I have had many times before, and since. However, it is one that time has taught me – sometimes the hard way – that obedience is the best policy. I discovered over the course of time that regardless of how ridiculous the instruction might seem, or how hard they are to follow, it is always best to pay heed.
Waiting For The Revelation
Some considerable time passed by as I sat with bible and notepad in hand, waiting for this ‘great revelation’. Revelation that I was sure I could just as easily have received in the comfort of my bed, but had now come all the way to the beach to receive. I began to get upset as I sat for what seemed to me like an eternity. Nothing, not even the slightest bit of information was coming, yet I was told to stay. Why have I wasted my time? Why did I not stay at home and rest like I felt I needed to?
Now here we go, please go away!’ Those were my thoughts as I saw this elderly man leave his much younger wife, whom he was bathing with, and walk up towards me. This was definitely not what I needed then, I had come – rather reluctantly – to receive revelation, not engage in meaningless conversation.
The conversation meandered along as we chatted about his children, grandchildren, the country, etc., and I engaged not wanting to seem insolent. However, seeing my bible on the table he started sharing with me his frustration at trying to help people understand the things he had discovered painstakingly. He indicated to me that he had traveled much in search of knowledge and had acquired many books, some of which were now out of print. But when he tried to open people’s eyes, all he got was rejection and condemnation.
He then divulged several bits of information, none of which I remembered for very long, for though interesting, they did not seem that big a deal at the time.
However quoting Isaiah 7: 14:
‘Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.’
He indicated to me that the word there did not necessarily refer to a virgin as we think of a virgin today, that is someone who has not had intercourse. Rather it meant a young woman of any age; married or unmarried; sexually active or not. In other words it had nothing to do with her sexual status but rather with her age. As a result the whole forced interpretation of the chapter is wrong. This both shocked and embarrassed me, for here was I a preacher and yet totally ignorant of that fact.
The shock did not end there however, for he then did two things that surprised me. Firstly: he gave me his number and invited me to call and pass by whenever I was in his area. This no Barbadian does. You never make the mistake of going to a Barbadian’s home without them first inviting you. This my ex wife was to discover with someone she considered her best friend. Secondly: he told me I could come and borrow his books if I wanted to. This was also a no, no, as any visitor would soon discover, if they were ever travelling on public transport and saw someone with a folded newspaper and ventured to ask them to allow them to read it.
It was at this point that his wife called him. As I watched them prepare to leave I heard: ‘Ok you may go now.’ What! You mean that is the reason I had to come here. I was now seriously confused, as I pondered all that had just transpired.
For many months I silently considered these things. My research also validated the info that was shared with me that day on the beach. Even though I knew the info to be true, I was locked in fear. Fear that this was nothing more than a plot from Satan to take away my faith.
After several months, some thoughts started stirring in my head and I felt the only way to get the answers I needed was to get in touch with David. As diligently as I searched I just could not find the number. It was then I remembered I had thrown it away.
(to be continued)